It's heartrending, Mr. Hasselhoff.
Hasselhoff To Star In Musical Based On His Life First of all, we are NOT making this up. David Hasselhoff – star of Knight Rider, Baywatch and the new hit variety show America’s Got Talent told us today that he is heading to Australia to appear in a stage production based on his life. David Hasselhoff: The Musical will include sets inspired by The Young and The Restless, Knight Rider and the songs of Teddy Pendergrass. “I am also doing a heart-rendering set on my life and the mistakes I have made,” the star says. “It sounds like a bad joke, but it is really going to be a good show…totally campy. It’s written by the same people who wrote Bette Midler’s show and produced by the people who produced Chicago in London.”
Though "render" does mean, among other things, "to purify fat, leaving small crisp remains." It's entirely possible your musical will do this to the audience, what's left of your dignity, or both. Delicious!