This comes from Amanda:
Looking through the employment ads on cleveland.com, I came across one that read, "Hot Line Cooks needed at Blue Canyon Restaurant!" Looks like with the record number of people unemployed, this restaurant can have their pick of good-looking cooks.
And this comes from Jaime:
Job Title: parrot
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [?]
Date: 2009-02-02, 10:10PM PST
A friendly colorfull big parrot is needet for photoshot.Some nudity will be occuring.I will pay $ 50.00/Hr for supervised use.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
Yes, there are a lot of spelling errors here. To focus on these, however, would be to ignore the sweet insanity that is a job for parrots that pays $50/hour and involves some nudity. They don't specify whether it's partial nudity all of the time or complete nudity some of the time. Either way, if we were a parrot with a healthy body image, and if we had sufficient pluck, we would be all over this job. $50/hour, man! Polly wants a raise! Squawk!