A Good Wench Is Hard to Find

Josh sends this in, saying it explains why fire trucks cost so much.

Fire department garners new truck

New vehicle cost $226,782
By Katie Pizza
Argus Observer
Wednesday, March 4, 2009 11:17 AM PST

Ontario — Ontario Fire & Rescue added a new tool to help with medical emergencies last month.

The vehicle, dubbed “Rescue One,” cost $226,782 and was purchased last month with money set aside in the 2007 to 2009 Ontario budget.

The heavy-rescue vehicle contains extraction devices, also known as the “jaws of life,” wooden devices to help stuck vehicles gain traction, hydraulic lift tools to move vehicles, a wench, two fire suits, a “sit-down” gurney to help move injured people down stairs, hoses, capacity for 512 gallons of water and other equipment to help with emergency medical needs. (Read more...)

The word Katie Pizza (great name) meant to use was winch, which is basically a big pulley. A "wench" used to refer to a girl or servant, then by the 1300s was meant to imply something altogether naughty and insulting. If you really want to insult someone and you happen to have traveled back in time, call her a "wench of the stews." Zing!

SPOGG also objects to the headline. "Garner" means to store, collect, accumulate, or earn/win through effort. Perhaps the headline writer was looking for a fancy alternative to "gets" or "buys"; this attempt goes clunk.